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Dementorbusters: Taimour

Without Further Ado: Taimour's Fanfic... About Dudley the amazing Martial Arts Master and Dementor Destroyer :)

Big D: Dementorbusters

Dudley was running through the tunnel as fast as he could. A deep chill penetrated his heart. He felt every happy thought leaving his body. Harry was shouting at him. All of a sudden he felt his entire body go limp. He gasped and woke up in a chill, safe in bed. It had been a dream, the same dream he had every night, when he was all alone and had nothing but a wall of old wrestling trophies for company. Dudley Dursley’s life had been quite glamorous after Harry left. He had been scouted by an agent while boxing at a local gym and went on to become heavyweight champion for 6 years in a row. He retired early, thinking he would live the good life with plenty of money, cars, and women. Now that he had so much spare time on his hands, though, he found his glamorous lifestyle of parties and international travel meaningless, and Dudley found himself thinking about his lost cousin Harry throughout the lonely days and nights.

            Now pacing the length of his bedroom, Dudley decided he would have to go find Harry Potter and make amends before he found any peace of mind. The next morning, he set off for King’s Cross, as this was the only magical place he knew how to get to. After spending the entire day searching, however, he had nearly given up hope. He walked outside and sat in an alleyway. All of a sudden, he felt the same cold rush of wind and depression he experienced every night in his dream. He knew this was his first clue in locating Harry. He shouted: “who’s there?!” He heard only the howling wind in reply. Dudley rubbed his eyes. He could not believe what he saw: a dementor was chasing through the streets of London. The dementor was heading away from Dudley and towards a wizarding family across the street. The family saw the dementor and shrieked in horror. With strong determination, Dudley chased after the dementor. The dementor cornered a small child, and just as it was about to administer the kiss, Dudley aimed a powerful roundhouse kick at its head. 10 years of wrestling training had given him the strength of a bull. With a piercing howl, the dementor turned around and tried to kiss Dudley. Dudley whipped out his nun chucks and unleashed a can of whoop-ass on the dementor. The dementor tried to glide away, but Dudley chased after it and tackled it. “Not so fast,” he snarled. Then he pushed it against a wall and punched it until it finally fell to the ground with a thud. Finally, he had revenge for all the sleepless nights and terror. He had proven he was better than the dementors. The family stared at Dudley with awe. Within 5 minutes, the ministry arrived on the scene. The ministry representatives could not believe the story they heard from the family, but upon seeing the dementor’s lifeless body on the ground they had no choice but to accept it as true. They thanked Dudley and took him to the Leaky Cauldron, where he would spend the night. They scheduled an appointment with the minister of magic for the next day. 

            When Dudley got to Diagon Alley the next day, everyone stared at him. Several children ran up to him and asked for his autograph. He picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet, and found that he had made the front page: “Martial Arts Master Saves Family of 7,” it read. As far as anyone knew, this was the first time in history anyone had killed a dementor. Overnight, Dudley had become a hero in the wizarding community.

            Dudley headed for the Ministry of Magic for his appointment with the minister. Once he was seated in the minister’s office, he introduced himself, and told the minister that he was Harry’s long-lost cousin from Canada. The minister agreed to get Dudley in touch with Harry, and Dudley’s heart leapt with joy. The minister had another proposition for Dudley as well. He told Dudley that since the fall of Voldemort, the dementors had been running wild, and the ministry desperately needed someone just like Dudley to bring some law and order back to the wizarding world. Unfortunately, Harry Potter was still too terrified of dementors to take on this project. Dudley agreed, happy for the opportunity to finally do something meaningful with his life, and became the first ever dementor hunter in the department of magical law enforcement. Although Dudley wasn’t really a wizard, he had had enough magic rub off on him through several years of living with Harry Potter’s scar to be able to see dementors and other magical things.

            Dudley spent his first day at work organizing his office and hanging up decorations. Then he got an owl from his boss telling him there was a gang of escaped dementors causing ruckus in Hogsmeade. Armed with his badge, his nun chucks, and a rope, Dudley jumped onto his black unicorn and flew off to Hogsmeade. It didn’t take him long to spot the dementors, who were harassing some Hogwarts students on their day off. Dudley ran in front of the students, a group of Hufflepuff 1st years on the verge of tears, and told them to run inside The 3 Broomsticks. There were about 15-20 dementors closing in on Dudley now; he was surrounded on all sides. Their darkness and depression no longer affected him, though; he was now immune to their effects. Even though he had this advantage, Dudley knew he still had to be careful – he did not want to risk getting his soul sucked out, especially at a time when he had found so much happiness in his life. Dudley took advantage of the dementors’ confusion and sprayed the first group with mace. He took out his nun chucks and subdued another group of 3. He saw a couple more approaching, and ran right into them, instantly killing one with a lethal headbutt. He grabbed the other and delivered several swift, sharp blows. He grabbed another and dropkicked it. The dementors kept on coming, though. One dementor grabbed him from behind and held down his arms, while its friend bent down to give him the kiss. Dudley felt its harsh, foul breath on his face. He whistled to his unicorn, which came running from across the village, and kicked the dementor in the face. With superhuman strength, Dudley grabbed the dementor which had been restraining him and performed his signature move from his fighting days, The Dudley Death Drop. Dudley proceeded to tie all the dementors together, and ran into Weasley’s Wizarding Wheazes, where he purchased several large fireworks. He set off the fireworks on the dementors, who fled back to Azkaban.

            Colin Creevey and his brother had witnessed the whole fight from the safety of The 3 Broomsticks, and approached Dudley, jubilant. The Creevey brothers had grown tired of photography and were now making films. They signed Dudley to a contract on the spot, and produced several action films about his adventures fighting dementors, giants, inferi, goblins, and other dark magical creatures. While films had never been popular in the wizarding community, Dudley’s films popularized the genre, and soon he amassed a fortune of hundreds of galleons.

Once Dudley had scared off all the dementors, he needed a new job. He decided to use his immense popularity to run for office. He received an overwhelming majority of the votes and became minister of magic. Dudley had a long illustrious career and introduced several reforms.

 

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